Marriage Isn’t A Two way Street….




I always hear the cliché phrases….

Marriage is a two way street!

Marriage is 50/50!

You have to meet in the middle!

I have to be honest……none of them really ever gave me comfort or hope. Whether you are the person always trying to meeting in the middle with a spouse that doesn’t even move or you are the spouse who never moves except in emergency situations, it seems to be a struggle to be “50/50”.

God gave me a picture to describe what marriage looks like now in my house. Something that took years to come about and even now at times doesn’t always look perfect. It’s this picture of a three dog sled team. Now before you freak out, I’m not looking for a Sister Wife situation….

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:24

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:33

These two scriptures work as book ends to the central text when we read about marriage in the New Testament. It first starts with “submit to one another” and concludes with “Husbands love your wives – wives respect your husbands.”

How do we submit to one another?

Husbands submission is in loving their wife

Wives submission is respecting their husbands

This isn’t given as a one happens so the other will happen situation. This is a “us together” tandem walking out of life! We love and respect our spouse, not because of their rightness, but because of Christ in them who has made them right by His rightness or “righteousness”. 

When he fails the test of being respectable……by grace, you do the unthinkable. You respect who he is in Jesus.

When she fails to be lovable…..by grace, you do the unthinkable. You love who she is in Jesus.

What is Love and Respect in context of submission?

Love– of persons: to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly

Respect– to reverence, venerate, be in awe

Husbands…..are we welcoming? Do we make decsions for the family, or do we welcome our wives as partners in running our homes? Are we approachable? Do we, even in the busyness of life, remind them of their great worth and our fondness of them? Are they someone we would sacrifice every life ambition we have to see them understand that they are safe and secure?

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her……

Ephesians 5:25

Wives……do you still have moments of awe when you look at your husband? Do you brag on them around others or do you bring up their failures and faults? Are you encouraging when they feel the weight of life and in the midst of stumbles? Do you remind them of how much you respect their leadership and courage? Are they someone you would back in all of lives ambitions?

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:24

Submission isn’t a zero sum game. It’s two sled dogs working together, working for the same goals, and following the same lead dog.

……submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

It’s by His lead that we come to understand Love and Respect…..sacrifice and awe. Take the time to stop working to GET to each other and start working WITH each other. After all, that is the finished work of Jesus. We don’t work to gain favor with our Father. By grace, we now have unmerited favor and are at work WITH Him! Show that same grace to your spouse today 😉

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